Hello all, life sucks right now. Trevor came online earlier, first time for a long time. Our reunion wasn't too pretty, he won't tell me whats going on unless it's over the phone[well I mean I know the basics..but not everything]. I can't keep calling him, I have no money and plus my parents hate me right now for calling him all the time. He's changed so much, he's not as outgoing..or happy..and its understandable considering what hes going through, but geesh..I hate to sound insensitive, but he could've called me or emailed me, letting me know things were okay. Now, funny thing is, I'm even worried more now that he's talking to me again, he's changed..I can't even put a smile on his face like I used to. *sigh*Even when I called him the other night, he seemed so uninterested, so sad..I just don't know how to handle all of this. He's so busy...and its like he's shunned me from his life. He has more of a life than I do, while I wait for him to come online or whatever..he's probably out and about. I'm pathetic..I just love him a lot. It's horrible going throughout a day not being able to talk to him. Thats why I'm so frustrated..ugh. When him and I were talking I was using dots..thats means I'm sad..upset? not mad. I don't get mad, I just cry. He left so quickly, before he was always like ''I'd rather talk to you then go out cause I miss you blah blah.." now, I mean..he's never online..I don't know. This whole thing is just freaking me out, it's making me think stupid things *sigh*. I know he's going through a lot, but I don't know how to help him. I'm not good at that stuff, especially when I can't hug him and comfort him. oy vey..

I'm off, I need to go sulk.

Love yeahh. <3